cosmo tip #249

when hes having sex with you, shout out your own name instead of his.

(Source: expertcosmotips, via lungsandtongues)

Anonymous asked: No, I didn't see the episode where Matthew GrEy Gubler dressed up as the 4th Dr., but I did see the episode where Matthew GrAy Gubler dressed up as the 4th Dr. :)

DID ANYONE ELSE

see the episode of Criminal Minds where there is Matthew Grey Gubler

(DEM CHEEKBONES)

dressed up as the 4th Doctor

next to Nicholas Brendon

dressed as the 11th Doctor?!

…

I hate children.

And also cutesy couples.

Both of these facts become apparent to me when I fly.

So what happened last night?

-My tiny Hullian

Thanks to Chelsea Lately

the voice of a Mexican midget will forever Harlequin/Mills&Boone novels in my head.

Also you may have noticed, my taste in men is showing.

UNF

UNNECESSARY FLASHBACK TIME

So I’m at my parents’ house in California, which is nice in that I can get intoxicated easily and shit in that I don’t have anyone to join me in examining the redesign of one of the rooms that I designed and my mother completed.

AND THAT GOT ME THINKING…my destiny as an abusive high-end-hipster designer began early. I used to collect miniature furniture by Bombay.

IN CASE Y’ALL WEREN’T 40 BEFORE YOU WERE 4 LIKE ME, miniature furniture by Bombay is stuff like this:

and this:

and this.

This is not the last of my ridiculousness.

I would then…make them look distressed and paint others white and…well, it looked like one of those beautiful rooms you always see in those hipster pictures.

I know you know what I’m talking about here.

And now I’ve gone on to design, essentially…the designs of my childhood obsession with ruining fine furniture in miniature.

(pictures totally to come—I can’t wait to show off my bangin’ shag rug and bird cages and ivy)

When I say I'm not going to drink that much

whatshouldwecallme:

Balls. So off my tits